Pierre Poilievre’s Holiday Wish List

As our series continues, we take another light-hearted look at Canadian politics with a curated set of gifts that reflect the themes and momentum of today’s leader.

Pierre Poilievre’s wish list looks very different from the one he drafted last year. Twelve months ago, he was flying high in the polls as former PM Justin Trudeau struggled and watched key Ministers and the NDP withdraw their support. This season… he’s still Leader of the Opposition.

One wish was granted in August with a safe seat in the House of Commons, courtesy of Battle River–Crowfoot’s voters. The rest of the list is still up for grabs.

Wish List

🎁 A Lock for the Caucus Room Door

To help ensure that everyone who walks in also stays in.

Conservatives have lost two members to the Liberals toward the end of 2025 – another reminder that even a strong caucus can have unpredictable moments. A sturdy lock might offer a little peace of mind, at least until the next vote.

🎁An “A” on His Next Big Test

Useful for the leadership vote at the upcoming Conservative Convention in Calgary.

While Poilievre remains a dominant figure within the party, leadership reviews always draw attention. A clear result would quiet speculation and reinforce confidence within the party.

🎁A Diary With a Lock and Key

A safe place to write down his policies before anyone else gets their hands on them. After all, it’s harder to “borrow” a plan when it’s still under lock and key.

🎁 A Life-Size Pierre Poilievre Wax Figure

Crowds, events and photo-ops tend to follow him wherever he goes. A wax figure could handle the line so he can focus on more important things – like writing catchy slogans.

🎁 A Magic Genie Lamp

And one that grants the conservatives a holiday miracle – a Canada where groceries don’t require financing, Canadians can afford their rent, and the only thing “taxed to death” is the photocopier that keeps printing deficits.

🎁 An Unbreachable USB Stick

Encrypted, tamper-proof, and secure – just in case.

A flash drive that encrypts itself with quantum grade security so that even “Rory McTory” can’t crack it. Somewhere to store candidate applications, MP financials and other identity thieving documents.

A secure caucus and a few hours reclaimed from photo lines might be wishful thinking, but the themes behind them are real. How the Conservatives handle unity, momentum and the demands of opposition in 2026 will be worth watching.